Not knowing yet

not knowing yet

Down here

where Dante imagined

hell to be

I sip iced tea

not knowing yet

if this is real

for it seems I’ve lost

my ability to feel.

I glance around

see my heart bleeding

my once bright brain

resembles scrambled eggs

as I order a hot & spicy

to warm up the place

not knowing yet

if I’m in the right place.

Down here I’ve found

those words, the ones whispered

misplaced while I was searching

for amazing grace, that one

Oh how sweet the sound

when placed on this page.

Over in the darkest corner

I witness my tears & pain

and wonder why I’m sad

perhaps I’m immune

can’t be weighed down anymore

as I read the chart of my life

the good, the bad.

Down here flames of lust

of yesterdays keep me warm

and I question just what

did it give me in return

other than the knowing

I was the devil himself.

Now I’m disturbed

can’t see my breath

and the scars once on my flesh

have melted away

along with every harsh word

taken to my grave.

2011

burn baby burn

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